It’s been five years today since you died. I still can’t believe it. May 18th comes every year and I remember you are no longer with us (not saying I don’t think about you every other damn day, but this day is more heart wrenching then most).
You’ve missed a wedding. You would have loved J. I mean over the moon loved J. You wouldn’t have been able to understand his Aussie accent, but nevertheless you would be the one to sit and listen as he went on and on. He missed out on meeting you, and I hate that. I hate that he never got to meet you, and hear your laugh. I talk about you so much to him so I can remember the good things and share them with him.
You’ve missed a divorce. I know that you would have been really bummed out about that one, but my brother and the boys are doing great. They are really good boys! Jes is a big old sweetie, and Char is so silly.
You missed your first great-granddaughter. That one is a killer, because she is the apple of all of our eyes. She was born almost a year to the day after you died. G would have made your heart melt, like she does Pop. She would have had you wrapped around her little finger.
Mom misses you the most, I’m sure of it. You were her best friend. You two talked every day, and with all of the health issues that have plagued her over the past two years, she really could have used your support. Pop is a soldier, though. He has really taken on your “role” and does all the family things that you used to do.
I don’t think it will ever get easier, just less painful I guess. I try to picture you, Moo-Mama and Sissy playing bingo in heaven. Sometimes when it got really bad for me I wished so bad that God (or whoever it was) would have taken me instead of you. You were one-half of the rock in our family, and the broken piece that left when you died will never be able to be replaced.
I love you so much grandma.