Wednesday, May 11, 2011

Hi there.

I figure I should post something since I’m getting tweets from friends making sure I’m okay.

I’m okay.

Really, I’m fine.

That’s kind of it. I’m fine. I’ve been sleeping too much, but that’s the medicine, not the depression. Lithium controls the “highs” of Bipolar (still kind of wondering why I was prescribed it when I don’t get “highs”, but it is the gold standard medicine), so it tends to make you sleepy.

Like I said in my last post (over a week ago? Really?), the meds have given me singular thoughts. My brain isn’t all aflutter with thought after thought. It’s more along the lines of  Sling Blade now. I’ve gone kind of..blank.

Mmm hmmm….taters

 

I choose stupidity over depression for now. It sucks because I loooove to write, but the thought of moving forward, albeit in a drug-induced haze, beats crying half of the day away and thinking of suicide. Even the huge task of moving back to Australia isn’t anxiety propelling. There are just talks for now, and it feels like I have a future. I haven’t felt like I have a future for months and months.

I have been reading all of your blogs, even though it takes me up to a week. I am reading line after line because sometimes the words don’t sink in all the way. But I am there, I’m just in the background.

I’m really hoping that after another few weeks or month(s) the meds will finally level out and I will be an okay Hed without the drug fog. Maybe then the urge to write will come back. Maybe then I will be out and about and I will have stuff to talk about. Right now, all I can talk to you about is my sleep patterns and how my appetite has come back (Tiramisu cake pops from Starbucks are manna from heaven). I hope to see you all soon!

PS-I’m still on Teh Twitter if you want to talk or anything. It seems I’m good at 140 characters, maybe just not a whole blog post hee hee…

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16 comments:

  1. Glad youre ok. Ill comment more tomorrow.Bobina's next to me snoring cutely. Thanks for reading my stuff.

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  2. I am the exact same way - I hear where you are coming from! Thanks for sharing!

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  3. I will keep my comment under 140 characters then. ***HUGS*** Love ya. But you know that, right?

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  4. hang in there, things will get better as your body gets used to the meds

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  5. Glad you're doing OK. Here's me hoping that upgrades to "good" soon.

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  6. Hed...I'm glad you're getting some positive results from the meds. Sleepiness will go away at some point I'm sure. Meanwhile, your getting some help from those scattered, ugly thoughts you were having so I say it's a good thing. Miss you but always think of you!!

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  7. Hehe, drug-induced blog reading is not recommended on my page. My words are hard enough to digest when a person is stone cold sober. I type and ramble too much for someone drugged up to be able to wade through.

    Glad to see you're still floating along. :)

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  8. Like so many others have said, hang in there and hopefully you will get adjusted to the meds soon.

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  9. I know that flat feeling / flat functioning all too well.

    Good to hear you're doing all right darlin'!

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  10. mmm. Taters.

    Being a tater boy myself, I take that as a flirt. =P

    Glad you're still alive! Want to see me squirm? Go to in and out or miguels, and snap a picture. twitpics of my old hood drive me bonky...

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  11. I'm truly impressed that you're staying on course. Keep it up, Hed. You'll get there :)

    On another note, I'm suddenly getting a hankerin' on for some biscuits with mustard. Now, why is that???? And I just grunted. Weird.

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  12. Thanks for popping in Sweets. Glad to see you are sticking with it and just remember you are in my thoughts. Especially when you keep slamming me at "words". Big Hugs

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