You know how there are times where you are mortified/scared/ in pain/embarrassed and then you look back and laugh or say “it wasn’t that bad?” That’s how I now feel about Friday (and no I’m not talking about that waste of life song-it will ALWAYS be bad).
Mind you, I was in the throes of anxiety that night, and experiencing the after burn of it as I was writing my blog post-but reading all of your words and thinking about the night, I am much better today about the whole situation. Panic attacks throw logic out the window. As much as I would want to tell myself that everything was just fine at the very moment I started to freak out, the fight or flight reflex kicked in and I just wanted the feeling to end as soon as possible.
Anonymous wrote: ‘Two weeks ago, I was invited to see “Sucker Punch” and have dinner. Dinner was kick-ass. Fun and laughs and great seafood. I have had four “good” days in a row.’ :) Cool!
Kage wrote: I think it's great that you got yourself out there, boo, and stuck with it for a whole evening. it's hard to even accept the invitation when you have social anxieties, but you did it. la you :)
Deus wrote: …Yes, yes. I know that feeling. No comforting words if you don't want them, but know that for us, what you accomplished was a victory.
And Mynx topped it all off with: Don't care if you don't want it. I am sending you hugs anyway and you will just have to have them. You are a strong beautiful young woman who had 4 great days and one bad one. That is 80% positive. That is a pass in my book. Hugs
You guys, all of these words, no matter if they were said just to cheer me up or said in passing, left a giant impact on me. Serious. I have to remember the “glass half-full” frame of mind when bad thoughts come or I am feeling uncomfortable. I know it won’t always work, but since my depression hit, it’s felt like one step forward and ten steps back. It’s a struggle every day just to tell myself to get out of bed. But you guys are right: I did it and I should pat myself on the back for it, not bring myself even further down. And for helping me with that you have my deepest respect and love, y’all.
PS-I think I looked cute that night (which is RARE!) :) I wore a polka dot shirt with my polka dot headband. Holla!
Pardon the emo bangs….
Since this blog is titled “Thank You”, I wanted to catch up on a couple of awards I was given-I’ve been slacking!
First of all, Pencil Girl awarded me with the “Blog With Substance” award two weeks ago! She is unbelievably sweet-she wrote: If I had to describe Hed in a word, it would be honest. Her blog is simple and sweet. Almost the exact opposite of my melodramatic, attention-seeking monologues. :P You have got to check out Hed's blog, you're sure to love it. :) Thanks!
There are no rules to this award apparently, so I am going to throw it out to one other blogger-Mynx at Dribble... She always has something great to talk about, whether it be about her job at the
castle mail post; her family foibles; the addiction she has to her IPad (I will beat you at Words With Friends one day, sucka!); or answering questions about anything and everything. She is definitely a blogger you should be following.
And last week my girl Heather over at Sugar Free Thoughts gave me a repeat of “The Versatile Blogger” award!
Here are the rules to this bad boy:
- Thank the person who gave it to you
- Share 7 things about yourself
- Pass it along to whatever amount of bloggers you feel like passing it on to
First of all, Heather is the bomb diggity (yes, I just said that). She is the Cal Naughton Jr. to my Ricky Bobby.
Ricky: From now on, you're the Magic Man and I'm El Diablo.
Cal: What does Diablo mean?
Ricky: It's like... Spanish for like a fighting chicken.
Second, I hope you will forgive me for cutting and pasting my answers from when I won the award on my Australia blog:
1. I am phobic of cockroaches. Phobic! (a persistent, irrational fear of a specific object, activity, or situation that leads to a compelling desire to avoid it.) I hyperventilate and start shaking if I see one-I can’t even watch them on TV.
2. I bite my nails like a crackhead. They are really bad! I knew J was my soulmate because his nails are as bad as mine, and he wouldn’t be like my mom-smacking my hand out of my mouth!
3. Not only did I get kissed by Fred Durst, he signed my boobs (mind you, this was in 1999 when Fred Durst was relevant). Other celebs I have met: Drew Barrymore at Magic Mountain, Pauly Shore, the bands Staind and Kid Rock’s crew, Wes Borland, Robin Finck and Danny Lohner from Nine Inch Nails, Josh Freese, and Chuck Fucking Norris. I once stood next to Tommy Lee and Mark Wahlberg and was too chicken to talk to them!
4. My favorite TV show of all time is The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air (followed closely by Grey’s Anatomy and The Simpsons).
5. My son’s name was supposed to be Bowie, but everyone hated it. My grandma kept pronouncing it “Boy”, because she’s from Oklahoma. If I ever have another kid, his name will be Bowie (or maybe his middle name ha ha).
6. Random hairs drive me crazy (like eyebrow, chin, arm, greys, etc.). I have been known to monkey out and literally rip the hairs out with my fingers-my poor best friend is always getting his hairs pulled out by me!
7. I have 23 tattoos. Okay to be fair 17 of them are stars on my back (for my birthday), two of them are matching bows near my collarbone, one is my nickname on my wrist, one is a dragon at the top of my back, one is a Virgo girl in the middle of my back, and my first tattoo is a rainbow dotted pinwheel at the base of my back (tramp stamp).
So there you go. As for passing this along, please check out all the lovely bloggers over on my blogroll -----> OH! And while you’re there, vote on this week’s poll!