Monday, March 21, 2011

A re-introduction.

I have 90 readers. Holy crap I have 90 people that actually clicked the “follow” button. I have an urge to pull a Sally Field and say “YOU LIKE ME, YOU REALLY LIKE ME!!!!” Okay, I feel better now.


So I know a lot of you have been here since the beginning, and some of you just recently popped in and apparently like what I have to say. I decided since I have an influx of new faces and names, I would give you a quick rundown on this blog and why I do what I do (oh and FYI you can click on the “what you should know about me” tab for some more nuggets of information).

I first started to write last May. I was dealing with my first ever bout of social anxiety, and in my sixth month of a severe depressive episode-the longest one I had ever experienced with my 15 year battle with bipolar disorder. My blog was called “Musings of a Bipolar Girl” and I created it for me and only me. Sometimes I would send out my blogs to friends and family because I thought maybe it would help with what I was dealing with, or that they would be able to see through my eyes. I had  8 readers, and 75% of them were already my friends and family.

In June my husband and I decided to pack up and move from California back to his home of Queensland, Australia, and just before we moved I started up a new blog called “Hed Down Under” (which is still up-just not updated- if you would like to read about my life in Oz). The blog was mainly meant to be an expat blog, and I kept my bipolar blog for when I was having bad days. After a while, it felt kind of odd to write all the “good” things on my Australia blog and all the “bad” things on my bipolar blog. It was like I was telling my 37 readers hey! Look how cool and fun I am! and writing privately I hate this place. I miss my family. I don’t want to be here. So before I came back to the States (that’s a whole other blog post), I combined the two, and here we are.

Currently I am still depressed. Severely. I have good days and I have bad weeks. When I have the really low points I try to write them out. I realized from my first blog that if I wrote when I hurt, it was like the pain I felt eased with every letter I typed out. I stopped trying (I really did!) to care as much if my readers would be like “oh, Hed’s having a bad day, sigh”. I try really freaking hard not to post all the emo junk on here 100% of the time because then this blog would just be a big ole bring down. Seriously, my number one Google search term is “unicorn pooping rainbows”. That’s how spectacular this blog is!

I also started writing to hopefully get out what some people cannot inside themselves. I searched and searched for writers who showed some resemblance to how I was feeling, to no avail. I never got that oh my God, somebody gets it feeling. As I wrote and got more involved in the blog community, I was able to talk to people that were a lot like me in their struggle with mental illness, and I also have had people comment who are grateful that I bare my soul. That makes me feel all warm and fuzzy inside-but even if I had no readers, I would still write for me.

As for what makes me tick, I’m a dork. I have 23 tattoos (okay seven). I play video games and religiously watch Grey’s Anatomy, House, The Soup and The Simpsons. I want to make babies with Jared Leto, Trent Reznor and Tim McIlrath (all at the same time?) I have a serious addiction to Paul Frank anything, and I just got hooked on the Words with Friends app (seriously e-mail me and I will give you my user name so we can play!). I’m taking a pharmacy tech course after years and years of management. I’m in weekly therapy. I’m currently un-medicated. My husband is still in Australia and no, we are not divorcing (another long blog post one day)!

In closing, I just wanted to thank you guys for taking the time out of your lives to read about mine. I hope I have connected with some of you, because I know your blogs have really inspired and influenced me.

PS-Kage sort of half-dared me to post a naughty picture I showed her. I will when I hit 100 readers, okay?

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  1. yes, we're at 92! go 100, go 100, go 100, go!

    and i love that t-shirt, lol

  2. Hed, I love how I've seen you evolve since I've been following you. You're coming out of your shell it seems, telling more about your true feelings, showing pictures of your beautiful self and listening to what people say. You're an amazing young woman who I am so thankful for in my life. I really do care about you like a daughter. Love ya, EC Mom

  3. Misti2312 - My Words with friends ID. Love to play sometime. Naughtypic? oooh fun. No one has asked for one of me yet lol. (probably a good thing lol)
    Loved this post, so honest. I love when you write the bad and the good. One day I hope you will come back to Aus and I will get a chance to hug you for real but for now I am sending you a cyber one. Love you darling girl

  4. Way to go Hed! I'm so happy for you, it was only a matter of time before people knew what I knew, which is that you're totally AWESOME!

    I'm here, just busy with the pending move...


  5. I must echo what Barb just said because I have been around a while too and think you very special, beautiful and I love nuts too. You do seem to be communicating more and that is a good thing. Just know we are here pulling for you more than you probably know.

  6. *Highfives* Conquering the world, one blog post at a time.

  7. you go girl work those numbers and thanks for the reintroduction

  8. Great recap. I expected the "fresh prince" music to start up at any time...

    Sorry about the emotional rollercoaster. If we are of any help, I'm glad.

    Also, when is the obligatory "Meet my tattoos" post? Or is that a hint at what happens at #100?

  9. I am also a dork and play video games as well.

  10. aww i love hw u're so genuine and real. Ur blog rocks and i can definitely empathize with you.
    just focus more on doing things that genuinely make u happy and try to block out the negative stuff that brings u dwn
    gluck! :)

  11. wow, your husband is still in australia? that's a difficult situation. my ex husband and i did that for a year before we got married- i was in CA, he was in london.

    i hope you have a great long-distance calling plan. ;)

  12. New reader via Studio 30, and a new follower, fo sho. Oddly, I just did the combine, winnow and delete process with three blogs because it suddenly struck me as insane that I had different aspects of my life all compartmentalized in a way that made no real sense. It feels good; I feel more able to interact with the wider bloggy world, but not in a famewhore sort of way. So hi.
    Also: you are beautiful.

  13. I see 93 mama! 100 is right around the damn corner!!!! Next up ....1000!!!!

  14. Ur at 93 at the time of me reading this. 93 readers that you KNOW of! What about all the ones following you secretly? I think that puts the number way over 100! Let's see some SMUT!

  15. Kage-Awwwww yeah!!!!

    Barb-Love you so mucho! I'm trying....I really am (just an FYI these are old pics!)

    Mynx-I hope one day we do meet! I can't WAIT to try your baked goods! And your boobs kind of gave me the idea lol!

    CBG-you've been a reader for ages now and I really appreciate it. Excited for you and the move!

    Odie-Same as CBG, you've been around forever with me too! Thanks bunches <3

    Drake-*highfives back*

    Becca-You're welcome!

    Idaho-HOLY CRAP I FORGOT TO ADD THE FRESH PRINCE! Best.Show.EVER! One day I will post all the goods lol :)

    BA-And I am happy you're a reader! <3

    OT-Console or PC games? We can play together! (That sounds kinda dirty...)

    Kitkat-Thanks! I like your positive outlook :)

    TILTE-I read "I was in the CIA" and I was like THAT'S FREAKING COOL! Yeah, been there, done that too-green cards suck!

    Shieldmaiden-Hi and welcome! Also:pssshawwwww :)

    Falen-1000? No girl, that's YOU!

    Rafa-HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! I don't have the same sexy ass wattage as Kage does, but I try my best with the smut :P

  16. Ok, where's my comment? I know I left one yesterday. Am I being shut out of the Hed blog or is this my anxiety kicking in and the paranoia is getting to me?

    Ok...I'll redo it...

    Thanks for the re-introduction. I have become quite a fan of your blog over the past two months. I have 7 tattoos as well. I am also regular crazy like you. Keep writing. Hope you have better days and weeks ahead.

  17. Lance-I promise I didn't delete it! Weird!

    I'll do a tattoo post if you do-and vice versa. I WISH I could write fiction like you do...

  18. Good to get to know you a little better. I have 2 blogs that are polar opposites (no pun intended) and I also feel like you did trying to keep them both "alive." I don't think I can really combine them, though. Hmmm...maybe someday.


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