I have 90 readers. Holy crap I have 90 people that actually clicked the “follow” button. I have an urge to pull a Sally Field and say “YOU LIKE ME, YOU REALLY LIKE ME!!!!” Okay, I feel better now.
So I know a lot of you have been here since the beginning, and some of you just recently popped in and apparently like what I have to say. I decided since I have an influx of new faces and names, I would give you a quick rundown on this blog and why I do what I do (oh and FYI you can click on the “what you should know about me” tab for some more nuggets of information).
I first started to write last May. I was dealing with my first ever bout of social anxiety, and in my sixth month of a severe depressive episode-the longest one I had ever experienced with my 15 year battle with bipolar disorder. My blog was called “Musings of a Bipolar Girl” and I created it for me and only me. Sometimes I would send out my blogs to friends and family because I thought maybe it would help with what I was dealing with, or that they would be able to see through my eyes. I had 8 readers, and 75% of them were already my friends and family.
In June my husband and I decided to pack up and move from California back to his home of Queensland, Australia, and just before we moved I started up a new blog called “Hed Down Under” (which is still up-just not updated- if you would like to read about my life in Oz). The blog was mainly meant to be an expat blog, and I kept my bipolar blog for when I was having bad days. After a while, it felt kind of odd to write all the “good” things on my Australia blog and all the “bad” things on my bipolar blog. It was like I was telling my 37 readers hey! Look how cool and fun I am! and writing privately I hate this place. I miss my family. I don’t want to be here. So before I came back to the States (that’s a whole other blog post), I combined the two, and here we are.
Currently I am still depressed. Severely. I have good days and I have bad weeks. When I have the really low points I try to write them out. I realized from my first blog that if I wrote when I hurt, it was like the pain I felt eased with every letter I typed out. I stopped trying (I really did!) to care as much if my readers would be like “oh, Hed’s having a bad day, sigh”. I try really freaking hard not to post all the emo junk on here 100% of the time because then this blog would just be a big ole bring down. Seriously, my number one Google search term is “unicorn pooping rainbows”. That’s how spectacular this blog is!
I also started writing to hopefully get out what some people cannot inside themselves. I searched and searched for writers who showed some resemblance to how I was feeling, to no avail. I never got that oh my God, somebody gets it feeling. As I wrote and got more involved in the blog community, I was able to talk to people that were a lot like me in their struggle with mental illness, and I also have had people comment who are grateful that I bare my soul. That makes me feel all warm and fuzzy inside-but even if I had no readers, I would still write for me.
As for what makes me tick, I’m a dork. I have 23 tattoos (okay seven). I play video games and religiously watch Grey’s Anatomy, House, The Soup and The Simpsons. I want to make babies with Jared Leto, Trent Reznor and Tim McIlrath (all at the same time?) I have a serious addiction to Paul Frank anything, and I just got hooked on the Words with Friends app (seriously e-mail me and I will give you my user name so we can play!). I’m taking a pharmacy tech course after years and years of management. I’m in weekly therapy. I’m currently un-medicated. My husband is still in Australia and no, we are not divorcing (another long blog post one day)!
In closing, I just wanted to thank you guys for taking the time out of your lives to read about mine. I hope I have connected with some of you, because I know your blogs have really inspired and influenced me.
PS-Kage sort of half-dared me to post a naughty picture I showed her. I will when I hit 100 readers, okay?