I haven’t done a shortlist in ages, but I have spent the last five hours watching VH1’s “100 Greatest Artists of All Time”, and it got my gears working. I have a LOT of ideas for the next few Sundays.
This weekend I’ve been also thinking about love. I miss the hubs so much. I’m usually on an even keel when it comes to the longing, but there are times I will watch a romantic movie or see a shirtless dude and I get all bent out of shape-what got me today was the scene when Andie was afraid to go into the prom, then Duckie shows up and she runs to him and they hug. “Pretty in Pink”, people!
Anyway, the mix of love and music got me reminiscing about young love-and how there is that one song that you hear even years later and it reminds you of that one moment you shared with someone you
loved were infatuated with. Here are my picks.
Carl-“Black”, Pearl Jam
Carl. Omg that’s a name I haven’t written down in ages-not since ALL of my notebooks and binders had it scribbled all over as “Mrs. Carl Z” and “HLG loves CDZ”. He was my first crush, and it was intense and crazy. It lasted two years-from grade 6 to grade 8. I was an ugly duckling during those years and Carl was…well looking back, Carl wasn’t a prize or anything, but he was my WORLD. The three hours a week we spent together in our bowling league (I’ve always been a dork) were what I looked forward to more than anything else. If I couldn’t go or he wasn’t there, it was a BIG FUCKING DEAL (as pretty much everything was with me when I was a pre-teen, to be honest).
One day he and I sat in the back of his friend’s car alone and the radio was on. “Black” came on the radio, and since we were both huge Pearl Jam fans, we just sat there in silence listening to the song. If those five minutes could have lasted forever…
Jason-“Something I can Never Have”, Nine Inch Nails
Jason was one of my first boyfriends, and I worshipped the ground he walked on. He was prettier than me-he had long sandy blonde hair and always carried a brush in his black pocket. He was the original emo. He painted his nails black and when I would ask him “how are you?” he would tell me “I’m content”.
Taking a picture of a picture sucks ass, but here is Jason and I circa 1994.
He was the one that really got me into Nine Inch Nails (and early Marilyn Manson). I mean anything he said or liked was pretty much his lips to God’s ears. One day he wrote me a note-in the center of it was a heart drawn in black ink and filled in so roughly that the ink bled through to the other side. All that was written was “you make this all go away”. I still have the note.
Ryan the First-“Don’t Fade on Me”, Tom Petty
Ryan. He was my guy. He was the one I gave my precious flower to (lol). He was a bass God. He was so musically inclined. All I wanted from him when we were together were hugs, kisses, and amazing words, but instead he would pick up a guitar and play what he was feeling inside (come on, I was 14-of COURSE I thought that!). For some reason a lot of my memories with Ryan draw a blank, but this song doesn’t, even though I literally haven’t heard it in fifteen years. We would lay in his waterbed in the dark, and he would put this song on and we would just hold each other. Ryan found me on Facebook a few weeks ago and my heart almost jumped out of my chest from the giddiness. That’s normal though, right?
Ryan the Second-“Lightning Crashes”, Live and “The Background”, Third Eye Blind (tie)
Ryan the second was who I consider being my first true love. We had a kid together. But before that, we were just two kids who LOVED music. If it wasn’t for him, I wouldn’t be listening to a lot of the music I do to this day-Tool, Metallica (old stuff!), The Misfits, and many others. He would sing his ass off and I would do back up vocals on long drives. It was a blast, and our musical moments are my favorite memories I have of him.
On April 19, 1996, he asked me to go out with him (serious-when was the last time someone asked you, “will you go out with me?” I miss that!), and at that very moment “Lightning Crashes” was playing on the CD player. I told him “yes, as long as this becomes our song”. It was so. To this day I can’t listen to that song, even though the album “Throwing Copper” is spectacular. Too many emotions.
I added this video and tried to listen to it. Started to cry.
Ryan and I broke up for six months, and when we got back together he played “The Background” for me because he said it reminded him of our relationship and how much he missed me during our break. I can’t listen to the lyrics and not think of him.
”The plans I make still have you in them…”
Robb-Gregory Page, “Fare Thee Well”
During Ryan the second and I’s break, I met Robb a.k.a “The one that got away”. He was unlike anyone I had ever met before. He was a laid back 20 year old, whereas I was a crazy 17 year old drama queen (ha! Some things never change). He liked all this underground music that I had never even heard of. He worked in a coffee shop. He was the coolest thing since sliced bread to me. He could have very well been the inspiration for “Hipster Kitty”:
We ended up only dating for three months, but I still remember him and the time together as just freaking awesome. Last year he randomly popped in my head, and I was trying to remember one of the songs he played for me by a local artist, Gregory Page. I ended up e-mailing Gregory Page himself and practically telling him my life story. He wrote back, and sent me the .mp3 for “Fare Thee Well”. I was jazzed! Unfortunately he’s so underground I can’t find the link for the song. As for Robb, we haven’t caught up in years-I wish we did, because he was an amazing guy.
Angel-“Let’s Stay Together”, Al Green
Talk about a volatile relationship. We had some good times, but it was INTENSE. He was a talented musician (maybe they are my thing?), and loved, loved LOVED Smashing Pumpkins. When I thought about adding him on this list I contemplated using a Sigur Ros song, since he is the one that turned me on to them-I’m going to add the song anyway because it is literally magical:
If you don’t listen to any other song on this post, listen to this one. The whole way through.
But no! The one that gets me every time is “Let’s Stay Together”. One night in a hotel (sounds dirty) we were in the bathtub (even dirtier), and he sang the whole song to me. That’s the kind of memory that is like an indelible nugget that will stick in your brain until the day you die.
SS-“These Arms of Mine”, Joan Osborne
(He was expecting this one, I’m sure of it-it’s a close second.)
I have never had a longing for someone more than I had for SS (yes, long complicated story-he is my best friend, but he was also the object of my affection for a long time). He played Joan Osborne’s cover of Otis Redding’s “These Arms of Mine” for me and it blew me away. Her soul is in her voice on that song. I felt what she was feeling, and I transferred it to what I was feeling for SS. I can’t find a damn link for it, but if you like that song originally, go download it by her and you will probably be like, (Keanu Reeves’ voice) “WHOA”.
J-“If You’re Not the One”, Daniel Bedingfield
When we started dating, our song was “Chasing Cars” by Snow Patrol. One day I was working and “If You’re Not the One” came on the overhead speakers. I ran into the lobby and started listening to it with one of the hostesses and literally started to cry in the middle of my work (I’m a crier, what can I say?). I called J later that night (he was still in Australia waiting for his visa) and told him this was it. This was our song. This is what I was walking the aisle down to.
And I did.
I don’t know why you’re so far away
But I know this much is true
We’ll make it through and I hope
You are the one I share my life with
And I wish that you could be the one I die with
And I pray that you’re the one I build my home with
I hope I love you all my life.
I want to know about your songs now. What songs give you pangs in your belly? Why?