Hedalicious.

My husband’s grandfather passed away this morning. He’s sad, I’m sad, everyone is sad. It’s compounded because I can only comfort him over the phone and it sucks.

Because of this, I decided to post something I wrote a few years ago for him. I’m hoping it will cheer him up or make him laugh, if only for a little while today. J and I have a thing where we are always making up random lyrics to songs and we crack each other up with them. I was listening to “Fergalicious” one day (I HATE FERGIE by the way), and I decided to pepper it up and make it all about ME! You just gotta love self-depreciating humor…

(PS if you’ve never heard the song or forgotten how it goes, I added the video so you can read along my lyrics over the beat)

(And PPS this shit is COPYWRITTEN! Stay away, Weird Al!)

J, if you are reading this, I love you and your family, and I am so sorry I can’t be with you all today.

“Hedalicious”

Listen up ya'll, Cuz this is it
The food that I'm eatin' is de-li-cious

Hedalicious definition make that food get eaten
You want to have a taste but its my whole box of Wheat Thins
You can see me, you can't squeeze me
I am hungry, I got money
I ain't grubby, I'm just pudgy
Got more chocolate than the Easter Bunny

Hedalicious
I'll eat drumsticks, wings and thighs
Quarter Pounder and some fries
And a slice of Apple Pie
Hershey's kisses (yum yum)
I put that food on a plate, plate
And I ain't watchin my weight cuz all that food tastes GREAT!

So delicious (It's yum yum)
So delicious (All them boys say "gimme some!")
So delicious (does anybody have some Tums?)
Hedalicious (t-t-t-t-t-tasty, tasty)

Hedalicious def-, Hedalicious def-, Hedalicious def-
Hedalicious definition I will eat whatever
In my dreams Keebler Elves
Comin' to me call me Fattie
I'm the F to the A-T-T-the-I-E
And can't no other lady eat my chocolate brownies

I'm Hedalicious
My body's far from lean
I be up in a jam just scarfing down ice cream
He's my witness (oooh wee)
I put that food on a plate, plate
And I ain't watchin my weight cuz all that food tastes GREAT!

So delicious (It's yum yum)
So delicious (All them boys say "gimme some!")
So delicious (does anybody have some Tums?)
Hedalicious (hold hold hold hold hold up, check it out)

Baby, baby, baby
If you really want the truth
The only Baby I want is a baby, Baby Ruth
Its so tasty, tasty, mmm I want a pastry!
It's so tasty, tasty, It'll make you crazy

T to the A to the S T E Y girl its tasty, T to the A to the S T E Y girl its tasty
D to the E to the L I C I O U S, to the D to the E to the, to the, to the, hit it Fattie!

All the time I turn around a Starbucks opens up always tempting me with goodies and a macchiato cup
I just wanna say it now I ain't tryin to be a cow I just want a nibble of that juicy tasty stuff
And I know I'm comin off like a bit of a fattie and I keep on repeating I want a Peppermint Patty
But I'm tryin' to say, that I can't be bothered with Jenny Craig
Cuz' they say its

Delicious (So delicious)
I'll eat drumsticks, wings and thighs
Quarter Pounder and some fries
And a slice of Apple Pie
Hershey's kisses (yum yum)
I put that food on a plate, plate
And I ain't watchin my weight cuz all that food tastes GREAT!
Four, tres, two, uno

So delicious (aye, aye, aye, aye)
So delicious (aye, aye, aye, aye)
So delicious (aye, aye, aye, aye)
I'm Hedalicious, t-t-t-t-t tasty, tasty

T to the A to the S T E Y girl its tasty, T to the A, to the S T E Y girl its tasty
T to the A to the S T E Y girl its tasty, T to the A, to the, to the (four, tres, two, uno)
D to the E to the L I C I O U S, to the D to the E to the L I C I O U S to the
D to the E to the L I C I O U S, to the D to the E to the, to the, to the...

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