Wednesday, March 23, 2011

Hedalicious.

My husband’s grandfather passed away this morning. He’s sad, I’m sad, everyone is sad. It’s compounded because I can only comfort him over the phone and it sucks.

Because of this, I decided to post something I wrote a few years ago for him. I’m hoping it will cheer him up or make him laugh, if only for a little while today. J and I have a thing where we are always making up random lyrics to songs and we crack each other up with them. I was listening to “Fergalicious” one day (I HATE FERGIE by the way), and I decided to pepper it up and make it all about ME! You just gotta love self-depreciating humor…

(PS if you’ve never heard the song or forgotten how it goes, I added the video so you can read along my lyrics over the beat)

(And PPS this shit is COPYWRITTEN! Stay away, Weird Al!)

J, if you are reading this, I love you and your family, and I am so sorry I can’t be with you all today.

“Hedalicious”

Listen up ya'll, Cuz this is it
The food that I'm eatin' is de-li-cious

Hedalicious definition make that food get eaten
You want to have a taste but its my whole box of Wheat Thins
You can see me, you can't squeeze me
I am hungry, I got money
I ain't grubby, I'm just pudgy
Got more chocolate than the Easter Bunny

Hedalicious
I'll eat drumsticks, wings and thighs
Quarter Pounder and some fries
And a slice of Apple Pie
Hershey's kisses (yum yum)
I put that food on a plate, plate
And I ain't watchin my weight cuz all that food tastes GREAT!

So delicious (It's yum yum)
So delicious (All them boys say "gimme some!")
So delicious (does anybody have some Tums?)
Hedalicious (t-t-t-t-t-tasty, tasty)

Hedalicious def-, Hedalicious def-, Hedalicious def-
Hedalicious definition I will eat whatever
In my dreams Keebler Elves
Comin' to me call me Fattie
I'm the F to the A-T-T-the-I-E
And can't no other lady eat my chocolate brownies

I'm Hedalicious
My body's far from lean
I be up in a jam just scarfing down ice cream
He's my witness (oooh wee)
I put that food on a plate, plate
And I ain't watchin my weight cuz all that food tastes GREAT!

So delicious (It's yum yum)
So delicious (All them boys say "gimme some!")
So delicious (does anybody have some Tums?)
Hedalicious (hold hold hold hold hold up, check it out)

Baby, baby, baby
If you really want the truth
The only Baby I want is a baby, Baby Ruth
Its so tasty, tasty, mmm I want a pastry!
It's so tasty, tasty, It'll make you crazy

T to the A to the S T E Y girl its tasty, T to the A to the S T E Y girl its tasty
D to the E to the L I C I O U S, to the D to the E to the, to the, to the, hit it Fattie!

All the time I turn around a Starbucks opens up always tempting me with goodies and a macchiato cup
I just wanna say it now I ain't tryin to be a cow I just want a nibble of that juicy tasty stuff
And I know I'm comin off like a bit of a fattie and I keep on repeating I want a Peppermint Patty
But I'm tryin' to say, that I can't be bothered with Jenny Craig
Cuz' they say its

Delicious (So delicious)
I'll eat drumsticks, wings and thighs
Quarter Pounder and some fries
And a slice of Apple Pie
Hershey's kisses (yum yum)
I put that food on a plate, plate
And I ain't watchin my weight cuz all that food tastes GREAT!
Four, tres, two, uno

So delicious (aye, aye, aye, aye)
So delicious (aye, aye, aye, aye)
So delicious (aye, aye, aye, aye)
I'm Hedalicious, t-t-t-t-t tasty, tasty

T to the A to the S T E Y girl its tasty, T to the A, to the S T E Y girl its tasty
T to the A to the S T E Y girl its tasty, T to the A, to the, to the (four, tres, two, uno)
D to the E to the L I C I O U S, to the D to the E to the L I C I O U S to the
D to the E to the L I C I O U S, to the D to the E to the, to the, to the...

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17 comments:

  1. I demand a music video for yours!

    Sorry for the loss. Always stinks to lose a family member.

    ReplyDelete
  2. From the hubs-"Thanks, the blog made me smile. I love you so much, talk a bit later on ok?"

    That's all I wanted today :)

    ReplyDelete
  3. aww sorry bout your husband's loss :/
    haha love ur creativity

    ReplyDelete
  4. First of all, very sorry about the loss in your family. Much love, Hed. Much love.

    Now, I do not listen to the Fergie or that train wreck of a group that reminded me of the reason for not listening to them by way of a Superbowl half time eye and ear fuck. That being said, your song lyrics made me pee my pants a bit. For reals. And Bruce is not pleased. You owe him an apology. Like, right now.

    I love you for being able to use humor to soften the sting of tragedy. You, lady, are class.

    SF

    ReplyDelete
  5. hahahaha! oh, snap! that was funny!

    i played the video while i read your lyrics. i loved it! lol

    and i'm sorry for yours and jimmy's loss, boo...

    ReplyDelete
  6. My condolences to you and ours...Love 'Hedalicious' you rock :)

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  7. A most excellent rewrite! Hopping over from Kage's place. Very nice to meet you. I hope you'll have a moment to stop by my "house" too.

    So sorry for your loss.

    Lana D.
    www.soberchronicfabulous.blogspot.com

    ReplyDelete
  8. So sorry for your loss darling girl. Sending you hugs.

    ReplyDelete
  9. That deserves you singing it on video. OMG you are so funny. And you succeeded in making him smile!

    Please tell hubby that he and his family are in my thoughts. It's never an easy time.

    Hugs, EC Mom

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  10. I'd rather you make a video

    so sorry for your husband's loss.

    ReplyDelete
  11. sorry for your loss...

    the lyrics rocked, like you, tho.

    you are 100x the person that tramp trollie ho fergie is...

    thoughts and prayers for you and j

    ReplyDelete
  12. my condolences to your hubby.

    your song is so much cuter. i can't stand fergie, either.

    ReplyDelete
  13. I'm sorry for your loss Hed. Did it cheer him up?

    ReplyDelete
  14. I am really sorry to hear of the death in the family. Hope everyone is doing as well as they can be, under the circumstances.

    Your song is friggin' hilarious. I HATE that song... she misspells tasty!

    I blogged about it before, did you read it?
    (Fergie, Dog Poop, World Going To Hell)

    Glad to hear you could make the hubs smile when he needed it.

    {{non-creepy internet stranger hugs}}

    ReplyDelete
  15. That is great! I loved the new lyrics! I too hate Fergie but you just made that song so much better :D

    ReplyDelete
  16. Idaho,Lance and Barb-Back in the day me and my BFF were totally going to make one where I would like mouth rape a bucket of KFC in it and stuff!

    Kitkat-Thanksx2 :)

    Heather-Note to Bruce-scotchguard Heather's office chair when she reads my blog.

    The best comment I read about Fergie at the Super Bowl was "it was fitting Fergie sang "Sweet Child of Mine" since she sounds more like a man than Axl does!"

    Kage, Miss Vicki, Mynx and Teresa-Thanks girls :)

    Lana D-Hi and welcome! Glad you stopped by!

    Bruce-LOL I'm glad you enjoyed it!

    BA-It sure did-check the second comment :)

    Stephanie-Your blog post was awesome! AND TRUE!

    Jax-Thanks! It's kinda my thing :)

    ReplyDelete
  17. May he rest in peace. However, this song is funny heehee. :)

    ReplyDelete

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