Saturday, February 5, 2011

I think my Wii hates me.

I bought a Wii! I bought a Wii! And a Wii Fit!

On Wednesday after finding out my hubs was still alive and well, I went out and (impulsively) bought a Wii. The reason? I’m sick of being fat. The other reason? Social anxiety is slowly creeping up on me and I couldn’t bear to walk into the gym. I mean it’s getting so bad that when I would even visualize walking into a gym just to talk to someone about a membership I would start to fidget and panic.

I have been a bum for five days now. No looking for a job. No schoolwork. Nada. Just switching between sitting at my computer desk and sitting on the couch watching TV. I feel like a zombie this week. I was talking to my best friend about it and he asked, “have you joined a gym yet?” I tell him no. He asks, “why not just buy a Wii?” That’s it! I’ll buy a Wii! That way I can do all this awesome work at home in private where no one can judge me and I won’t look like an idiot. I call around and find a used one and a balance board for the Wii Fit. Woo hoo!

You may be asking, “where did you get this money Hed??” Well, hubs was on board for paying for a gym membership…so I rationalized that we would be saving money if I just bought a Wii. So I bought a Wii. Cue angry hubs mad that I didn’t consult with him first. My bad. I’m good at rationalization, and I’m impulsive. Two pretty bad qualities. After the steam dissipated from his ears, he was okay with it and understood my explanation.

Today I tried out the Fit game. It starts out all cute and you get to create a “Mii”, which is basically you as a Nintendo character. You start out by doing a body test, where you enter in your height, step on the balance board and the game calculates your weight and BMI. This is where it stopped being cute. My little avatar all of a sudden turns from a cute oval shape to a big old circle and shouts, “That’s obese!” What the? How dare you! You’re a butthole!

I thought you were on my side!!!

After the tests the game determines your “Wii Age” by combining your weight, age, BMI, and balance. I’m 30. I got…41? DAMN IT!!! My fat little toon hunched over in pain at the sight of the number, as I did myself in real life!

After I get over the shock of a computer calling me a old fatty, I follow the instructions to figure out my center of gravity. Not bad-it was something like 45% left 55% right. The instructions show how posture really weakens muscles, so I instantly suck in my gut and pull my shoulders back. You’re given some balance tests and then you put in a goal weight and time. I entered 20 pounds in 3 months (3 pounds a week, roughly).

Then I was on to the actual “fit” part of the Fit game. You choose from Strength, Aerobics, Yoga, and other exercises. I choose Yoga. I figure Yoga is kind of the “gateway” exercise, since it’s just posturing and junk. First is the deep breathing exercise. Breathing? That’s my kind of exercise! It was easy and fun to watch your trainer show you how to do the exercise, and also the game shows you a yellow circle which is your center of gravity-while breathing you try and stay in the circle for your posture. So far so good.

Next was the half-moon pose. You lift your arms up over your head then slowly stretch to one side and hold. Oh.My.God. Did my age say 41? It should have said 81 because after about six seconds I was shaking and aching. IT’S A STRETCH! WTF??? When we switched to the other side my arms seemed to have enough because they kind of stopped moving.

I was going to show the exercise, but this was way cuter.

When that exercise finished I got off the board. I felt nauseous. I yelled out to my mom in the other room, “okay! I’m done for today!”. Ugh. Two exercises stretches and I was wiped out? Am I really that out of shape? I go to the main menu and the game shows you your training time. Four minutes. Yes, I am really that out of shape.

Even as I write to you now, two hours later, my arms and shoulders are sore. Do they still say “no pain, no gain?” Because apparently I haven’t exercised since 1982.

Tomorrow’s another day, though-and I plan on catching up on my school along with my “Simpsons”, and I will master the Fit!!!

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25 comments:

  1. You just have to keep at it and your age will go down in no time. Ask This - her post about the Wii age is funny too.

    I laughed when you made the joke about 1982 - so the last time you exercise you were 1? heehee

    I feel like that sometimes too.

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  2. I laughed at this Hed! It reminded me of the post when I told about my WiiFit on the 26th January. My Wii fit age came up as 75!! LOL! (Excuse me - I think NOT!!!). Several of our blogging friends do seem to use WiiFits. Have another go tomorrow and then build up from there!

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  3. LOL! I am in the same boat, and I have been really wanting to get a wii for this very reason. It seems like a much better, and less panic-inducing idea than actually going to a gym full of perfect-looking barbie dolls. lol

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  4. Stick with it lady! I have faith in you. Baby steps......just keep reminding yourself that sometimes it takes baby steps to get where you want to be.

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  5. You would die laughing if you knew what my Wii Fit told me. It told me to call 911 your are about to die of cardiac arrest. True story.

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  6. Hey Hed, you'll get through it. Hey can you do me a favor? Can you look at that Wii fit, and let me know if there is a maximum weight for someone to use it. Then email me directly the answer?

    Thanks
    CBG
    canadianbloggergirl.blogspot.com

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  7. I wondered how Wii fit worked. Thanks for the information! Also, don't let a video game hurt your self esteeem. The science is pretty flawed anyway.

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  8. I’m not sure if the initial calculations are accurate, if it’s anything like the training on Wii Sports then it might take a few goes till it adjusts to you. I started off as an sixty year old man and over a period of days got myself down to my actual age.

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  9. haha! this post was funny, you're so adorable, hed.

    but we REALLY need to talk about those leg warmers, lol

    pis.s. i'm so glad your hubbie's okay in oz :)

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  10. It's going to be tough to get into it, but once you get there you'll be benefitting your mind and body. Keep it up! For me, since I can't do much right now. Hugs, sweetie

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  11. Just take it little by little. Soon you'll be able to go on for an hour without stopping! If you read my post about my 1.5 mile time being 16 minutes, this is me not running much since the Fall semester started. So I'm planning on reducing my time little by little with as much exertion as I can muster without killing myself.

    Push yourself, but don't push too hard or else you'll be sorry (and maybe get sick which led me to stop exercising last semester).

    http://theadorkableditzmissteps.blogspot.com/

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  12. I also have this. It took me awhile to enjoy it, but then you know what happened? The Wii board decided to be cute...I hadn't been on it in awhile and it thought it was being funny by not remembering my name. No really. I now feel so guilty that I'm AFRAID to get back on the board. Good luck though! (I personally enjoyed the boxing...)

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  13. Skippy and Thisisme-I remember that post, it was awesome! Skip-it sure feels like YEARS since I've exercised...

    Princess-Right??? Plus there are SO MANY GAMES that are made for the board-I just freaking bought Punch-Out!

    SF-Yep, I'm not going to be hard on myself if I'm not kicking ass by next week. I'm going to do the first exercises over and over until I can master them, then move on!

    CBG-Sent :)

    Homeboy-Yeah, I was curious too, and I'm glad I got it! Apparently the Wii fit "age" is exclusive to Nintendo, and you know those guys are total scientists :P

    Drake-So they only missed your age by a couple of years, then? Wow that's good! Hee hee :)

    Kage-Haven't you heard? Leg warmers + Pajama Jeans are the new black.

    Barb-I have to work out for TWO now? Sheesh! Yes, I will work my ass off, just for you <3

    Morgan-My MILE in high school was 16 minutes, I've always been unfit-inclined I guess! I'm glad you are trying, and I am going to follow your advice!

    The Schweitzers-Ha! Get on the board with me! (well, not technically, metaphorically!)

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  14. OH shit! I'm glad to see I'm not the only one who has this! I lost 15 pounds using it..My mom jacked it from me and I haven't been able to get it back! I miss my wii fit!

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  15. Hang in there and keep trying. You can do it.

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  16. I have avoided this by coming to grips with my "roundness" :-) For about 3 seconds I consided buying a Kinect...then I realized the reason I like my Xbox so much is that I don't have to get my ass off the couch....but I applaud your efforts and wish you success :-)

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  17. don't feel bad my Wii age is 64 and i'm also fat according to it.

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  18. Now you see if a man made a wise crack about a woman’s age, we’d be slapped upside the head. Equality my ass!

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  19. wait until you miss a day or more and it chastises you. It does it to all of us. I found it heaps of fun. Should get back to it

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  20. I got a Wii Fit for the same reason last year. I did one round of boxing and thought I was going to die. I haven't used it since. I dust it occasionally. That's exercise, right?

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  21. Falen-You go steal it back! I'm afraid that may happen to my Wii soon as well (see Monday's post)

    Odie-Thanks! I got your back if you got mine! :)

    Dad-My nephews bought a Kinect-it looks fun, I would LOVE the EA Active but its too expensive at the moment!

    Becca-Doh!

    Drake-Hee hee you can bitch slap me anytime. But only once! You only get one.

    Mynx-Now I'm scared to turn it back on!

    Kathcom-they say "light housework" burns calories...so to me that's going from sitting on my couch to laying on my couch..

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  22. I have a Wii Fit and desperately need to use it. The one exercise that really throws me off is the one where have to kind of squat. They want you to have your center of gravity in some unrealistic place. I just don't get that one. The Miis can be funny, though. Make up a bunch of Miis as people you know, and they will appear in some of the exercises! For example, when I do the hula hoop exercise, my BF and brother are sometimes throwing the hoops at me. Cracks me up.

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  23. I love the rhythm boxing. Great for venting and stress relief!! My Mii is also a little bit "distorted" as I am overweight with a BMI of 27. I find that exercising without scales or tape measures helps remove some pressure and that sense of doom and dread when you step on the scales.

    Love xo.

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  24. I put on 30 pounds (menopause), I kept saying I was going to exercise but never did. I began taking my daughter to the pool, You'd be surprised how many exercises you can do in water. I have a bender ball and exercise everyday for about 30 minutes. Dropped 10 lbs in 2 weeks. You can do it too.

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