Thursday, December 16, 2010

Hed needs a jobby-job.

January 1 is sixteen days away. That’s when I swore to myself I would start looking for a job. I haven’t had a job since November 2009, back when I was working at Starbucks of all places after being a restaurant manager for two years. One day I couldn’t go to work. I just…couldn’t. The boss wouldn’t let me slide that day. So instead of trying to be rational, I quit. Three weeks later I landed a job at Starbucks for half the money and half the hours. One day I gave up. I didn’t even call in sick. I just stopped. Something died in me last fall, and, like I have said in many of my blogs, I don’t think that part of me will ever be back.

BUT! Unless I choose to go through months and months of paperwork and waiting to get approved for permanent disability (Bipolar is actually something you can apply for, apparently), my ass needs to get a job. Now I have been in management since I was 21. I have years of experience, and once upon a time I could have probably talked you into buying poo as a facial mask because it firmed your skin. I had a LOT of charisma. Had. I tend to not have a sense of humor anymore, and it sucks.

I’ve been looking into schools since I’ve been home, and with the economy and my lack of savings, it seems like a moot point. Plus, no one is getting jobs-with or without a college education. I have a friend who graduated in Economics from a top-tier university…she delivers pizza. Another friend is in graduate school for Marketing. During the day she works at a furniture store and at night works at a clothing store. I really don’t think spending my time learning a skill will be fruitful at this time-and I hate saying that. School is so, so important in my opinion.

My mom is pretty much saying “take what you can get”, and I agree. But now all the fear and doubt and excuses are popping in my head. I have no work clothes anymore (I sold it all/gained weight). I’m afraid to work with people. I can’t manage my own life, let alone other people! What are my options? What do I tell people about my year absence? What if I fail after a week? A month? Three months? UGH.

I want a job. I want to be super ambitious like I used to be and network my ass off. But I think everyone will see through me, or they won’t see the spark that I once had. I can’t get a job working on my own, because working in the service industry is all I’ve ever done. At this point I don’t have the confidence to tell myself I will succeed, and it sucks. I’m really, truly NOT trying to be a Negative Nelly today! The reason I even blogged about this subject is because I have been looking into my options. I gave myself until the first of the month so I can get situated back home and so I could try and give myself many pep talks.

I want to go into Medicine. Serious. My dream would to be a Physician’s Assistant or a Pharmacist, or to be Miranda Bailey. I’m thinking about just trying to weasel my way into something related to medicine at the moment, even if that means answering phones at a doctor’s office or something. So that’s what I’m looking into at the moment. If any of you lovely readers have any suggestions, I’d love to hear them…

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13 comments:

  1. Well Pharmacy Technicians are booming this day in age. There are programs that cost a few grand but I hear the average pay for them is $14 an hour. I'm not sure what else is out there but your job will come out. I'll hope for the best hun.

    http://theadorkableditzmissteps.blogspot.com/

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  2. Missed ya...glad you're back...good luck with the job search!

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  3. STOP QUESTIONING YOURSELF!!!! Just jump right in and do it because all this double thinking is just going to stress you out more. Look what you have been through so far . . . pretty bad things and all it has done it make you stronger. God won't put you through something that you can't handle all you have to do is just take a chance. You know were all here from you if you need something and besides what's the worst that could happen?? You tried and found out you didn't like it. Wouldn't you rather know that you tried than to have never tried at all?? Luv U!!!!!!!!!!!
    <3 Meeh

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  4. With our economy being in the toilet since 2008, you can certainly be 'creative' on your resume. I think you mentioned you worked cosmetics? Have you thought about esthetics? Plastic surgeons are expanding more into also offering skin care and make up. Go to a few job fairs that are around. See what's in your area. Keep your chin up!!!

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  5. just remember many a great person failed at many a thing before sucess...

    the wright bro's
    alex graham bell
    even the donald was in bk before..

    keep your head up hed!

    looking for work is tough, but the medical arena and the drug cartels are booming...

    aging population and pimping narcs...

    thoughts and prayers!


    Bruce
    bruce johnson jadip
    And
    evilbruce
    stupid stuff i see and hear
    and
    The guy book
    the guy book

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  6. I thought education was pretty much irrelevant now and companies would take whoever had the most experience every time.

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  7. Certainly wishing you well with your job search in the new year, Hed. I have to be honest and say that I really feel sorry for young people nowadays (and you are young to me!). They are under so much more pressures than when I was young, there's no security any more and, as you say, most people that get degrees end up working in jobs that don't really even need a degree. I think it's very sad and, certainly over here in England I(although I think it very much a worldwide thing)the situation is getting worse for the people leaving University, let alone everyone else. Sending you lots of positive vibes and good wishes.

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  8. Sometimes the job sucks but it pays the bills. Hed I am a service manager with 5 technicians that each make half again or twice what I do and some of them act like idiots most of the time. Just jump right in and make it happen and don't worry until you really have reason to. Good luck girl.
    Odie

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  9. Morgan-Pharm tech is actually one of the first jobs I looked into...plus they can train you on-the-job, apparently.

    Dad, Becca, and Thisisme-Thanks for the well-wishes and welcome backs!

    Barb-Called the Esthetician school, will cost $10k to enroll. Right now I would be iffy at best to join a school where the job market is slowing down due to people not being able to afford luxuries like facials and high-end skin care :(

    Oilfield-They are ALL overrated! But I'm not hot enough to be a trophy wife, sadly.

    Bruce-The Donald worked at Burger King? Really??

    Drake-That's pretty much true. Isn't that shitty?

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  10. -I think Bruce meant bankruptcy-

    I wish you luck. Articulate, well mannered and intelligent get you a long way in the job market and you are, without a doubt, all three of those things.

    Bi polar is definitely a legal disability but I know it is darn near impossible to qualify for disability for anything anymore - not to sound like a downer - but if the government isn't willing to approve some of my friends' applications for CHF and/or Lupus I wonder how successful an application would be for BPD.

    I don't know. As much as my doctors tell me I qualify - I haven't even bothered to apply. The process just seems so convoluted and pointless.

    Since you have had no income for so long you would probably qualify for student loans - you might want to look into those for Pharmacy school, but should also get everything in order in life before taking on the workload of any school you choose to attend.

    You take care of you first and foremost and the rest will fall into place.

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  11. Skippy-yeah, he meant bankruptcy. Burger King would have been so much cooler though! I have no interest in filing for perm disability-I have moments where I'm doing really, really well, and I have no plans to just stop my life because I'm handed money every month...(not that it's a BAD thing, just not for me)

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